Meandering

I had hoped to post at least once in February but the month went by so quickly! The last few years have gone by so quickly but I know that time doesn’t really speed up, what happens is that life swells with importance as the mind and body’s experiences teach all the lessons that one must have heard when one was younger but disregarded because it was all hypothetical until it was felt and lived.

In March 2015 I was finally circling around the life change I had been wishing for, dreaming of and dreading for more than ten years. I was living in California. I had lost 20 pounds through daily determination, logging and that final motivator of–“well, I’ve hit rock bottom so I should at least try something different”. The years that led to 2015 were filled with various failures, health issues and the choice to remain in a situation that was comfortable misery and mediocrity.

It’s not a life I’ll complain about because I had books and art into which I could escape and starting in 2014 I was finally exercising not out of a self hatred nor a desire to be thin but rather because my body was in pain and I knew that my weight was a component as well as atrophied muscle from various bouts of bed rest. For the first time in ages I was also much more socially active than I had been since sometime in 2002. It was right around February/March 2015 that I met the guy who changed everything.

I was playing World of Warcraft, which I’ve had a love affair with since the beginning, and began talking with one of the people I’d been raiding with. By summer of 2015 we’d met in person and by the end I’d flown from California to Florida and we began living together. The bits in between are everything but probably to be detailed another time. From the end of 2015 all through 2016 we struggled to find work, an apartment and to get two old pets to get along. A beagle and a calico who behave almost exactly the same but are not so different from that friend you thought would get along with your other friend and now they are mortal enemies.

Now that it’s the start of the third month in 2017 I am finally finding some semblance of balance between my part-time job, playing UN between the tri-colors and getting back to my finished novel draft. That plus trying to figure out what to blog about. Work, part time though it is, is more meaningful than similar jobs I held in California. I don’t know if it’s because my wages here can support renting with my husband (after the move, pets and everything we did get married). There is something of a weight lifted when you feel like the work you do can feed, clothe and house you. But maybe it is something more. Something about time healing wounds.

There’s still a lot to figure out with how I want to blog, why I want to blog, what’s worth sharing and what just seems like it doesn’t belong here.